


Secret Harmonic Emotion

by ImmoralAndDivine



Category: Naruto
Genre: D/s elements, Dubious Consent, Dysphoria, Explicit Sexual Content, Feminization, First Time, M/M, No Aftercare, Non-binary character, Overstimulation, Underage - Freeform, mis-gendering, these two are a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 15:12:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmoralAndDivine/pseuds/ImmoralAndDivine
Summary: Tenzou had never showed anyone that side. Even though it was impossible to hide, like the water and earth that lived inside Tenzou, this was an undeniable force of equal and opposite energy. The Tenzou that could be in the world, fighting alongside his comrades, taking orders and doing the things that need to be done to survive, was not the same Tenzou that sat alone among the trees with toes in the grass and hair like wild flowers, dreaming of a peaceful world, with people that loved them.





	Secret Harmonic Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> As this could come across as sensitive subject matter for fellow non-binary folk, this is serving as a warning that characteristically, these themes are not being as sensitively dealt with as they could be by a non-Walnut.
> 
> Alright enjoy these sad, dumb babies.
> 
> This Fic will have 2 chapters.

The window covers were casting odd, jumbled patterns across the walls of Kakashi’s room. From where he sat folded into a chair he may or may not have remembered finding, he could see the clear outline of his regulation vest spread across a hamper in the far corner. 

The turning blurs of brightness barely reached it, but through the flickers of afternoon light Kakashi could see the smudges of red and rust soaked through the white fabric. He didn’t need to see it to know what it was, thought he could still smell the dirt and sweat and blood even after nearly an hour of scrubbing at his hair and skin. 

He looked back towards the dancing light of day trying to force its way through the windows. His hands were limp and hanging where the arm rests of the chair failed to hold them up, and Kakashi let them be even at the press of a wet nose to his palm. There was a distraught whine when he didn’t respond, but he just kept staring through the covered windows. 

The scrabbling of worn down claws against wood floors and barking was the only thing that eventually pulled him up. He hadn’t noticed the knocking at his front door until he was standing in front of it, dogs spread out around his feet, whining and barking expectantly. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t the smiling face and armfuls of brown paper bags and produce that walked past him and into his apartment. 

Kakashi’s hand was still wrapped around the doors handle by the time Tenzou made himself comfortable in the kitchen, unloading bags and organizing whatever mess Kakashi had undoubtably left last. The hallway was dark, but he could feel the light at his back from the kitchen. 

Tenzou was silent for the most part, moving around the small space efficiently, putting things away where he knew they belonged, eyes flickering to the corner of the hall where he knew Kakashi was watching from. Tenzou wore a soft look, and if Kakashi was feeling particularly observant, he may have even called it happy.

Kakashi leaned into the sharp corner of the wall and stayed there.

“Your mission ran so long, I figured you’d need some things when you finally got back.” Tenzou glanced back at him, upturning the second bag and sending a few apples rolling along the countertop. Kakashi watched him turn away and sort them into the empty fruit bowl he kept there. “I know pink ladies are your favourite.” 

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Don’t be silly, Captain,” Tenzou didn’t look back at him that time, just snuck something off the counter that Kakashi didn’t catch and fed it to the nearest begging dog. “You have to eat.”

Tenzou’s hair was pulled back as an afterthought, a messy bun at the base of his neck, pieces here and there falling down around his face and shoulders. His mission must have run late too, since he was still in his fatigues. Plain black pants and a sleeveless shirt that was equally plain. Kakashi tried to remember the last time he saw his teammate in anything other than a uniform.

There was a small flower tucked behind his ear.

“A little warm for all black.” 

He watched as Tenzou straightened, turning his back to Kakashi as he returned to putting away groceries. Youth still held him in many ways, thin but still soft around the edges, fair and narrow where the afternoon sun found him; Kakashi wondered when he’d start growing into himself more. There was a stretch of silence, in which Kakashi thought he may have to think of something else to say.

“I changed before I went shopping.” The words were clipped, and Kakashi wished he would turn around so he could see his face. But then Tenzou did turn, and that soft look was there but it wasn’t as soft as before. “I have to be somewhat presentable, after all.” 

Kakashi scoffed at that fake smile, pushing off of the wall and walking back to his room. “You shouldn’t care so much what people think.”

 

 

The next time Tenzou showed up on Kakashi’s doorstep it was after a mission in the back country of Iwa that had left his team in a three week standoff in enemy territory, with little means of calling for reinforcement. Eventually retreat had been the only option, and while his uniform had come home far cleaner than last time, there was a heavy exhaustion that had settled in upon arriving back in the village. 

Summer had also settled in, hot and unforgiving.

At least the dogs had been able to show a little excitement at his teammates company, dancing around Kakashi’s feet before the door had even opened. But Tenzou didn’t wait like last time for Kakashi to move aside, instead pushing past with his face tucked towards the bags of food he carried.

When Kakashi pressed himself to the the corner of the wall, heavy hands firmly in his pockets, Tenzou had already settled himself in the kitchen, back turned on the watchful eyes of the dogs. He already had a knife in hand, and was currently making quick work of an eggplant laid out on a cutting board, setting aside in neat portions. Kakashi would need to make sure to prep some meals so it didn’t go to waste.

Tenzou’s hair was down this time, falling over shoulders and down along the bare expanse of skin that stretched across his shoulder blades, where the blushing fabric of his dress dipped between the thin straps. The pale pink fabric hung just past mid-thigh, letting Tenzou’s bare legs make the most of the early evening breeze coming in through the open windows. He was balancing on one foot, the other tucked shyly behind his ankle, toes curling into the cool floor.

He could see the bright outline of pink on Tenzou’s cheek, half turned away, but even from his perch just outside of the kitchen he could imagine the thin line of his mouth, eyes focussed with brows drawn in tight. Kakashi has seen his teammate make that face more times than he could count, knew when to expect it even. Knew when to say it was okay to be embarrassed. He wanted to ask why Tenzou was embarrassed; he wanted to ask a lot of things.

Kakashi wanted to ask why there was no flower tucked behind his ear this time, but he was very tired, so he just leaned his head against the cool drywall and watched.

 

 

Two nights later Kakashi heard the familiar sound of his bedroom window sliding open. Though He was not in his room, instead leaving Tenzou surprised to find him in the living room, laid out on the floor with all eight of the dogs. 

It was late, so late it was early, and he watched with tired eyes as Tenzou rounded the corner out of his room, a weariness in him that Kakashi was all too familiar with. He didn’t bother moving, just settled his head back in his hands, watching his uniform clad teammate stand awkwardly in his home.

“Why are you on the floor, Captain?” Tenzou cocked his head in question, just enough that it left his hair falling off to one side over his shoulder. It had gotten longer while Kakashi had been stranded in Iwa. 

“Floors are very underrated,” His eyes closed on an exhale, thankful that Tenzou didn’t react to seeing him like this. Mask-less and tired, laid out on the floor at two in the morning. “Good for your back, you know.” 

He heard Tenzou move further into the room just as Bull got up, lumbering over to negotiate some pets. When he opened his eyes Tenzou was sitting a safe distance from him, cross-legged as he scratched Bull behind one of his big floppy ears. 

“Good for your back,” he parroted. “When did you get so old.” Tenzou wasn’t looking at him as he spoke, but he wore a teasing smile still soft around its edges. 

Kakashi felt himself mirror the look, giving a wounded hum as he reclined his head further, unable to keep his eyes open. “Easy for you to say.”

Tenzou laughed then, quiet and breathy. It was a nice sound, and if Kakashi could force his eyes open he would have played it back to watch. 

Kakashi was use to watching Tenzou. Partly because it was his duty; watching over his teammates to be sure no harm would come to them, and watching still so that when it inevitably did, he would be ready. He’d fine tuned himself over the span of years to do exactly that. Kept both eyes open since he was young, back before his vision was anything other than ordinary, before the constant reminders of what could happen the second he looked away. He’d kept watching, even after countless nights of his own senses betraying him, trying to scrub and scrape at blood that wasn’t there. He’d become very good at watching Tenzou, despite all that.

But the other day wasn’t like that, didn’t hold the same underlying feeling of dread as he watched that familiar shape move around his home like they knew it by heart. Kakashi had waited, expecting that feeling to creep back in. But watching didn’t feel compulsive . It wasn’t fear that kept his eyes on Tenzou, it was something else..

Bisuke rumbled uneasily beside him, settling only when Kakashi reached over to offer an appreciative pat. 

“About the other day,” As soon as Kakashi started though he was stopped by the scraping of movement, Bull jumping up from his spot on the floor, and when he suddenly found the wakefulness to open his eyes Tenzou was no longer sitting comfortably, instead kneeling like he was ready to jump up too, staring at the floor, face flushed, rushing out, “Please, Captain, you don’t have to say anymore — I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry to have made you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again.”

It sounded rehearsed, Kakashi wondered if it was.

He stared at Tenzou for a long moment, waiting for the other to meet him, but all he got was the flickering of eyes, Tenzou’s shoulders shrinking in, fingers digging creases into his pant legs as his mouth opened and closed on more embarrassed excuses.

“I’m sorry, please don’t be—“

“You looked nice.” Kakashi watched The moment Tenzou’s eyes snapped to his, big and dark and round. He sat forward, aching where he was leaning back on his elbows. Tenzou was still staring at him, lips parted just enough to indicate more surprise than concern, a soft crease between his brows. Kakashi thought it didn’t suit him. “I thought you looked nice.”

Tenzou looked like he didn’t know what to do with that information, instead settling on staring down at his hands, loose and pink knuckled against the dark of his fatigues. He opened his mouth once more, but Kakashi couldn’t let the shapes form into those words. He wasn’t sure if it was relief that he read on the others face, or something else, but Kakashi felt annoyance flare in him, thought to himself that Tenzou shouldn’t have to feel relieved, thought that Tenzou deserved to feel comfortable and secure in everything he chose to do. But Kakashi also knew the world didn’t work that way, and in the end, reality won out. He let some of that annoyance into his tone as he cut Tenzou off.

“I told you not to worry what people think.” He said, finally sitting up. “Didn’t I?”

Tenzou glanced up at him through long hair, nodding only once. 

“Good!” Kakashi feigned placation, eyes creasing shut. “That’s settled, then.”

Tenzou never responded though, settled on turning his face away and looking off into the dark apartment, perfectly silent. 

Kakashi just watched, like always.

 

 

Tenzou hadn’t been sure what to expect after climbing through the Captains window in the earliest hours of morning. Resolve was a tight curling knot that twisted just below the dread and embarrassment from the days before, and Tenzou had never been terribly good at leaving Kakashi alone. 

It wasn’t so much that they needed to talk about it, and more that Tenzou just needed the confirmation of disappointment from the Captain to know that what had happened was wrong.

But disappointment wasn’t what Kakashi had worn when Tenzou sat next to him on the floor of his dark apartment. There had been the soft scratch of fur under his fingers, and quiet teasing with an old comrade; Kakashi’s eyes surprisingly sharp like they always were when he had something important to say, and Tenzou feeling more embarrassed than thought possible, but some how not in a bad way. 

And now Tenzou felt new and confused, because wasn’t it Kakashi who’d stood in the corner, staring like he’d witnessed the birth of some strange creature, with nothing to say.

Kakashi hadn’t even inquired about Tenzou’s sanity, not that it would have been held against him. Tenzou frequently wondered at that too. Kakashi had said to not worry, so Tenzou listened, just like every time the Captain offered advice. 

Tenzou had never showed anyone that side. Even though it was impossible to hide, like the water and earth that lived inside Tenzou, this was an undeniable force of equal and opposite energy. The Tenzou that could be in the world, fighting alongside his comrades, taking orders and doing the things that need to be done to survive, was not the same Tenzou that sat alone among the trees with toes in the grass and hair like wild flowers, dreaming of a peaceful world, with people that loved them.

Except sometimes they were both, because people, as Tenzou had come to learn not long after being Kinoe, were not so black and white.

Tenzou wanted to be both; On some level, even hoped that there wouldn’t have to be any reaction. But reality had proven unpredictable, and as soon as it was out, Tenzou felt a nagging, youthful anticipation for any kind of feedback. 

That’s what had forced their sleepless confrontation. Tenzou needed Kakashi to say it was okay.

And he had.

Which was why Tenzou now found the door to Kakashi’s apartment laid out ahead, imposing and completely ordinary with the small outline of Tenzou’s loose fist raised to it. There was a moderately empty bag of groceries propped up in the other arm, since their visits had been more frequent lately, Kakashi was needing less and less brought by.

Tenzou knew the Captain could fend for himself more than adequately, but it was a good excuse.

Hopefully there would need to be no excuses, especially since today had been one of the hottest days on record, and Tenzou already felt overheated in the white t-shirt that hung just shy of pink bruised knees.

There was a brief moment of pause, Tenzou standing before the door, fist raised, just breathing, but before any excuses could be made, the door was swinging open away from the outstretched hand.

Kakashi stood in the doorway, a hand firmly rooted in the pocket of his fatigues, the other disappearing behind the open door. He looked ready for whatever the day may demand of him, but the heaviness hiding around his eyes betrayed a likely lack of sleep. His one eye pulled itself over Tenzou, a frighteningly casual up and down before he was stepping to the side, motioning for Tenzou to enter.

The captain smelled good, like mint, and something vaguely floral. It was a scent Tenzou had never caught on him when they were out in the field, which meant it must have been from a more personal routine than what was shared amongst squadmates . The shine of fragrant water weighing down the usually textured silver hair told Tenzou enough. Wondered if Kakashi had forced a fresh shirt over his damp skin before opening the door.

Tenzou felt slow at first, one foot falling in front of the other until they felt cool tile beneath them, sandals forgotten at some point along the way. And even though they had both just been here, in identical circumstances, the air felt new, the room the same but different, and as Kakashi settled in to the corner yet again to make silent conversation, Tenzou felt young and bold. 

It was easy to pretend that nothing had changed, and for the most part, nothing had.

_I’ve always been me._

 

 

Things had changed. Tenzou knew it, and Kakashi couldn’t pretend otherwise.

Kakashi had resolved himself to not caring. To not reacting abnormally, to not seeing his teammate any differently. Certainly to not treating him any differently. Kakashi had thought himself quite familiar with ambiguity, yet this new found, or newly expressed, Tenzou had left him uncertain.

He knew it was the catalyst. He knew how he felt was different that first day. Seeing Tenzou like that had marked Kakashi, scored out a hollow place in him that started in the pit of his stomach and drew a warm line up behind his rib cage. The fondness he felt was old, ancient even, he could admit to that. He’d always held Tenzou closer than any reputable shinobi had the sense to. Kakashi had turned Tenzou into his heart a long time ago.

But this was other. And Kakashi felt cowardly in it.

He’d tried. He’d welcomed him in like countless times before, had watched the other carve out his familiar place standing in the kitchen, or worrying over neglected house plants, or scolding Kakashi for any number of domestic failures. And Kakashi had felt eased and troubled all at once. He fell back into their routine, hoping for the comfort it usually afforded him, but it wasn’t just comfort that settled into him.

He’d pressed himself back against the far corner of the apartment with wet hair steadily soaking into his collar, watching, hoping the distance would make it easier. His hands had felt so heavy in his pockets, but he hadn’t dared to uncage them. 

Tenzou had milled about as he always had, cheery and blameless, but Kakashi knew Tenzou could sense his withdrawal. 

Kakashi had watched as Tenzou pulled his hair over one shoulder, fidgeting as he always did when he was uncertain, and Kakashi thought of gathering it all up in his fingers.

Kakashi had hoped it would go away, the needling, nagging desire that had sunk its warm claws into him. He felt sick with it, guilty and disgusted. Why now, what changed? The truth was too ugly when he tried to look closer. 

He’d even said it – _I thought you looked nice_. Like encouragement for Kakashi’s own bad behaviour.

He’d stood there staring just as long as he could bare, but he refused to offend the other with his lack of self control, instead opting to lock himself in his room. Like a misbehaving child. And eventually, when sweet Tenzou had come knocking, all kakashi could muster from his place in the worn out wing-back was a curt ‘go home’.

He took the silence from the other side of the door as acquiescence, but hurt no less for it.

 

 

When Tenzou was back the next week, Kakashi almost didn’t let him inside. 

But Tenzou, seemingly having banished all meekness, pushed past him, unusually empty handed. Kakashi felt weak to follow.

When he made it to the living room Tenzou was there, tending to the few plants that had somehow survived Kakashi’s negligence. His back was turned but Kakashi could feel the irritation in his movements, light filtering in from the window before him. Kakashi thought even now, he looked soft and light.

“I’m starting to get the feeling you’re avoiding me, Captain.” He said, still turned away, fingers moving over dry leaves. Kakashi wasn’t ready for this kind of confrontation. “It’s not very polite.”

Tenzou plucked dead leaves away, gathering them up on the windowsill before moving to the next plant, dusting hands off on the sage green slip he wore. Kakashi took a breath, removing his hands from his pockets.

“I’m not sure what I’m suppose to do, if you don’t talk to me. I guess I have to come to my own conclusions.” Kakashi listened to the words, but didn’t hear them. He waited for Tenzou to say more, but he was here, and Kakashi didn’t want to talk about it.

The few steps it took to cross the room felt slow, and even from behind Kakashi could see the way Tenzou lifted his head, suddenly alert from Kakashi’s approach. Kakashi perhaps knew better than to sneak up on a someone of Tenzou’s training, knew he would have felt the same. But when he came to rest mere inches away, Tenzou made no move to distance himself.

Kakashi could hear the others soft breathing. Could have leaned his face just a bit closer to scent the long hair falling down Tenzou’s back. He almost forced his hands back into the safety of his pockets, but this was a confrontation he could handle. Tenzou’s hands rested steadily on the windowsill, perfectly still like the rest of him.

Kakashi cast out all the noise in him as he reached a hand out, slowly, with a carefulness never associated with his reputation. The backs of his knuckles were a cool contrast against the soft warm skin of Tenzou’s thigh.

He skimmed them over the exposed flesh there, just past the hem of Tenzou’s dress, fine-tuned to whatever reaction or action might come. When none did, Kakashi pressed more firmly, a touch that could not be misinterpreted as accidental. At this proximity he could hear the soft breaths as they were altered, more controlled, some not coming at all. Kakashi wondered if Tenzou was holding his breath.

Kakashi slid the backs of his fingers up to the slips hem, stroking the skin there until he felt the unmistakable rush of gooseflesh spreading out beneath them. He turned his hand outward, savouring the first real touch of skin against his fingertips, palm. Kakashi was gentle when he gripped Tenzou’s thigh, but it was a grip non the less. He felt the sharp intake of air, and knew if Tenzou had let it, it would have been a gasp.

It was all Kakashi needed to let the persistent want he’d been feeling guide his hands to matching spots beneath the hem of Tenzou’s dress, sliding up with a firm pressure, feeling smooth bare skin followed by the familiar fabric of what he knew were the standard black lycra shorts they both wore. And Kakashi had the thrilling realization that they felt so much smaller on Tenzou’s narrow hips. 

He could see where Tenzou was now bracing himself against the windowsill, chin tucked forward just enough that Kakashi could lean his head forward with him, turning inward to press his face near the soft waves at the top of his head. Kakashi took a steady breath as his hands spread up along the thin contours of Tenzou’s waist, fingers splaying out and pressing in just above still pronounced hipbones. 

Tenzou smelled earthy and light, like laying in the grass at the height of summer, and Kakashi abandoned restraint and pressed his nose fully alongside the shell of his ear, into his hair, chasing that scent as he forced out a heavy breath. Tenzou let out a short sound, face turning towards Kakashi in a half aborted movement as hands slid around to the soft expanse of skin at his stomach. Kakashi felt Tenzou freeze beneath him as his hands slid lower, feeling the smoothness of Lycra beneath them yet again, but before they could explore further Kakashi felt Tenzou’s hands at his wrists, smaller but no less certain in their strength, halting his movement.

Kakashi forced himself to stop, to listen, tried to tune back in to know what he’d done. Tenzou’s grip was strong, bordering on panicked. He made another short half-sound, catching his breath as Kakashi felt him trying to place his thoughts.

“I –“ he started, stopping to suck in a breath. “Not there.” 

The certainty in his words bloomed immediate shame in Kakashi, too heavy to just be called embarrassment, and it took the rest of his resolve to push it back. It wasn’t about him. If Tenzou was willing to dictate, Kakashi was willing to learn.

He took a steadying breath, staving off the safety of detachment as he eased his hands out of Tenzou’s grip. Tenzou’s hands hovered though, unsure of the sudden shift in pace as Kakashi slid a hand back between them, the other planted firmly on his hip still beneath the dress. His hand slid down over the curve of Tenzou’s back, and in one fluid motion he pressed the heel of his palm into the smooth seam of the lycra shorts, Tenzou’s hips pushed flush against the wall. 

Kakashi watched in renewed hunger as Tenzou’s hand flew to his own face, fingers pressing in around his mouth, breathing stuttered breaths. Kakashi pressed his hand done harder against Tenzou’s ass, a dull pressure where he’d feel it most, and he watched.

“Here?” His voice was heavy in his own ears, a control in him that disguised his arousal well until he spoke. Felt harder to disguise still when he watched the half hidden outline of Tenzou’s face give a jerky nod. 

Kakashi’s hands moved to cradle Tenzou’s hips, careful in their placement as he pulled their hips flush, leaving no room between them. Kakashi sucked in a breath at the sudden and welcome pressure on his hard cock, that scored out hollow inside him roaring its victory as Tenzou melted back against the hard line of his body, shuddering out an overwhelmed sound in the form of his name.

Kakashi rubbed steady circles into Tenzou’s chest, feeling the awful pull to see what other sounds he could drive from him. 

_Has anybody ever touched you like this?_ Kakashi didn’t voice the thought, as he felt he already knew the answer. 

Kakashi would see his twentieth year in the coming months leading out of summer, and he had always felt aged beyond his years. Being forced into tight knit squads from a young age under constant threat of death made you find new ways to feel even the slightest bit normal. Especially as a teenager. But Kakashi had been with Tenzou a lot of those past years, and would have done most anything to keep him safely to himself. He was young still, and it turned out that being on such good terms with the infamous comrade-killer had proven a good deterrent for any ANBU with half a mind. 

Kakashi imagined Tenzou was still perfectly green.

Tenzou was responsive to everything. Feeling Kakashi hard against him had reduced him to something Kakashi has never seen, and when Kakashi shifts them so he can pull the other to him, lifting him from the ground just enough to carry him the few yards to his room, Tenzou’s hands press in around the back of his neck, face turning in towards his chest as he holds onto Kakashi like he’d fall to his death. 

When Tenzou’s feet touch the floor again, it’s in the dark quiet sanctity of Kakashi’s bedroom. His back is still to the other, and Kakashi watches as he stares down at the bed before him. 

All weariness and dread has fled Kakashi’s body, and he steps forwards, back into Tenzou’s space, placing his hand in the middle of Tenzou’s back, pressing forward gently, persistent until he watches as the other folds at the knees, hands reaching out to brace himself on the mattress as Tenzou lies belly down, dress caught up between tense thighs. Kakashi leans down, hands reaching out to drag a gentle finger down the length of Tenzou’s bare leg before circling around each ankle where they dangle off the edge. In one swift motion Kakashi drags Tenzou down the length of the bed until he’s bending at the hips, knees firmly planted on the floor. Kakashi stares at where Tenzou’s arms are now up at his sides, hands grasping and then ungrasping and grasping again the comforter beneath him, dress rucked up around his lower back, hair mussed across his back. Kakashi indulges in the sight for only a moment before leaning down once more to hook his fingers in the waist of those black shorts.

Tenzou gasps at the touch and Kakashi thinks to ask if this is okay, but that thought is quickly followed by the dull sound of lycra hitting the floor, and Kakashi doesn’t even bother admiring the view before he’s walking across the room, opening the front of his fatigues absently as he grabs a labeless bottle from the nightstand, throwing it down on the bed. 

Tenzou breaths quietly against the sheets, hands having decided to just grip the comforter, and Kakashi strokes himself through the opening of his pants as he tries to think of what to say. 

“Tell me to stop.” Is all he says before dropping to his knees behind the other, hands reaching out to pull and spread until He’s satisfied.

Tenzou says nothing, just breathes and let’s out soft half smothered gasps every time Kakashi touches a new expanse of skin. Kakashi earns an especially clear one when he spreads a generous amount of cold lube over Tenzou’s hole, going back over in quick succession before sinking two fingers inside. That earns a proper sound, and Kakashi feels arousal heavy and demanding in him as he watches Tenzou’s thighs spread incrementally at the second push of his fingers. 

Kakashi pushes in again, deep and demanding for someone who’s never had this, and Tenzou cries out against the sheets, digging that well inside Kakashi’s chest deeper, a fierce protectiveness rising along side it telling him to give Tenzou everything, to make him see that Kakashi can be enough man for the both of them. He does it again and Tenzou twists both hands in the sheets, sounding shocked and desperate and half wrecked as he presses his hips back up towards Kakashi. 

Kakashi pushes back in with three this time, riding the rhythmic push and pull of Tenzou’s hips as he fucks himself on Kakashi’s fingers. Kakashi curls his fingers until Tenzou is pulling at the sheets again, one hand shooting back as he’s crying out, grasping weakly at Kakashi’s wrist. Kakashi does it again, cock heavy and wanting as Tenzou breathes, ‘please’ and ‘too much’, while still trying to pull Kakashi’s hands away from him.

Kakashi takes the grasping hand and twists it behind the others back, pressing Tenzou’s wrist into his lower back, bowed with the force of it. Kakashi then shoves his fatigues down his hips just as far as he needs, breaths shallow as he guides himself forward against the heat of Tenzou’s body. Kakashi makes a low noise in his throat, pressing in the first few inches as Tenzou’s spine locks up beneath him, torn between getting away and pushing back on Kakashi’s cock. 

Kakashi pants as he sinks further into the gripping heat, hands bearing down nearly all his weight on Tenzou, holding him down as he gasps wetly into the room. Kakashi doesn’t make a sound, he doesn’t want to miss any of the other’s. As Kakashi fills him further Tenzou’s voice gets harder, crying out on every exhale, hips trying to influence even an inch of movement, but Kakashi has him pinned, and he plans on being the one to dictate now. 

And just when Tenzou thought Kakashi couldn’t find anymore space inside, he pushes in a last inch.

“ _Gods-_ “ Tenzou cries, wanting to press a hand to his stomach because surely he’d be able to feel how full Kakashi made him.

“You like that?” He pants out, too mesmerized by the trembling body beneath him, the green dress tucked all the way up over hips and lower back, hair spread out and falling over Tenzou’s half hidden face.

Kakashi forgets he’s meant to be controlling for a single moment, keeping still, reaching out to brush the hair from Tenzou’s face, running his thumb over the wet mouth he finds there. Kakashi stares when a pink tongue pushes out against his thumb, earning a surprised sound from Tenzou, who then takes Kakashi’s thumb in his mouth, humming appreciatively around it before pulling off with a wet sound.

Kakashi feels heat curl demandingly inside him as Tenzou breathes, “I can feel you.— You feel like a battery.”

Kakashi pulls his hand away then, slides it back down past where he was holding Tenzou’s hip, fingers pressing to where they’re joined. Tenzou sighs out another needy sound.

“Can you feel it here.” Kakashi presses two fingers down along where his cock disappears inside, the tips sinking in, and Kakashi knew it was a stretch, would feel too big, too much, and Tenzou cries out weakly, rushing out a desperate ‘please don’t’, followed by a couple gasping breaths and ‘so full, I’m so full’. 

The captive hand pulls at Kakashi’s restraint, but mercy wins out and kakashi is pulling his fingers away, drawing a wet line across Tenzou’s asscheek as he begins to pull back. 

Kakashi feels a desperate edge in his gut, pulling out and pushing back inside the easy, hot slide of Tenzou’s body, picking up a rhythm that is more commanding force than anything else. Kakashi doesn’t think to offer any breathing room, fucks Tenzou until he’s twisting and moaning brokenly beneath him, sounding overwhelmed. Kakashi pressed down against his back further, bowing his hips up, cock sliding deeper still, and Tenzou gave this throaty cry like he’d been taken by surprise. A shock of heat moved through Kakashi at the realization that it sounded like he was close. 

He wondered if Tenzou would come just from being fucked.

Tenzou smothered another moan in the sheets and Kakashi reached a hand down, gathering up his hair in a tight fist and pulling his head back. Tenzou tightened around him, a breathy thread of ‘wait’ and ‘please’ and ‘ _Kakashi’_ filling the small space in any combination. Kakashi’s head dropped forward, forehead pressing to where his hand still held Tenzou down, fucking into him sharply.

“Say it again.” His voice was rough, but he knew Tenzou heard him.

And Tenzou obeyed, pushing hips back to meet Kakashi’s thrusts, saying his name like he was committing it to memory, voice breaking in a way that should have been more familiar given his age, and Kakashi just held him down, fucked him until his name stopped sounding like his name, and Kakashi’s balls were drawn up so tight he thought he’d die if he didn’t come inside Tenzou _right_ now. 

But it was Tenzou who was coming first, muscles locking up, voice breaking off in a final choked syllable, silence taking over as Tenzou’s small body trembled and shook as Kakashi fucked him through his orgasm. And Kakashi wouldn’t stop, thought it would go on forever until Tenzou was mewling, pushing against Kakashi weakly with one free hand ,overstimulated and spent.

But Tenzou stilled then, limp and softly whining as Kakashi chased his own release, his harsh breaths suddenly loud in the otherwise quiet room, and Kakashi felt it build up, tighter and tighter until he was moaning sharply against Tenzou’s damp skin, rutting into the calm body beneath him as he came.

Kakashi pulled off of Tenzou before he’d even began to come down, ignored the sharp sound the other made at the sudden loss of his body as he forced himself up and into the bathroom.

Tenzou didn’t try to move for a long moment, instead waited for feeling to return to the arm that had been pinned down under Kakashi’s weight, wishing not to feel so wet and empty and chilled.

Tenzou understood though. Felt unnerved at the thought of laying with Kakashi after, and tried not to take the Captains disgust at the idea of intimacy personally.

It wasn’t personal. Who knew when any of them would die.

Tenzou so clearly understood in that sudden moment, why they always said you felt so vulnerable after.

Tenzou’s heavy eyes slid sideways, wished the energy was there to lift a hand to tired eyes. The bathroom light was so bright, Tenzou could hardly make out the still fully dressed silhouette of the Captain stooped over the bathroom sink, running water over his face and hair.

Tenzou slowly, so slowly, slid down the bed, resting gently on the floor before reaching for the discarded briefs, feeling a deep stiffness settling into every muscle as the shorts were pulled back on before attempting to stand. 

Tenzou’s legs had never felt so shaky, but it was manageable, and by the time Kakashi had emerged from the bathroom, looking otherwise unbothered, Tenzou thought maybe now would be a good time to try and cross the room.

Kakashi tried not to watch from the door way, wanted to leave Tenzou the dignity that he could. It’s also why he didn’t speak on it, just opened the door for him when he left.

Tenzou wishes Kakashi would have said anything at all.


End file.
